Understanding CPA

Some key facts about Child to Parent Abuse

Child to Parent Abuse is complex and often misunderstood - or even completely overlooked. We don't know the true extent of CPA because incidents often go unreported, and even when escalation to professionals is needed, there may not be a standard way of recording this.


Experts predict at least 3% of UK homes are impacted by CPA, but this could be much higher in reality.


Parents may not feel able to speak out because they fear blame or judgement, because previous contact with professionals has not helped, or because they don't recognise what's happening to them as abuse.

Types of abuse

Abuse can be:

Physical (punching, spitting, kicking)

Verbal (threats, screaming, swearing, insults)

Emotional and psychological (humilation, whispering campaigns, mind games)

Digital (e-violence, threats on social media)

Economic/financial (demanding money, running up debts in the parent's name, stealing money and possessions)

Sexual (inappropriate behaviour or language, sexual assault).

Coercive and controlling (restricting behaviour, isolating parents from others)

Causing damage (to property or items)

Parents tell us:


  • Behaviours most commonly start before the age of six (this applies to around a quarter of those we support).


  • The behaviours can continue after the child turns 18 (10% of our parents have adult offspring).


  • Verbal and physical are the most common types of abuse experienced (by 97% and 90% of parents reaspectively).


  • Almost one in five are physically attacked every day by their child, and another third are physically attacked at least once a week.


  • Most children displaying abusive behaviours towards a parental figure will also do so towards other children living in the home.


  • Almost all have had to change their routines because of the abuse they're experiencing, and almost three quarters have lost touch with a friend or family member as a consequence.


  • 70% have had to reduce their hours or leave work altogether.


  • Two in five don't feel able to keep their family safe.

All statistics above are from our PEGS 2022 Parent Survey. A report summarising the findings of this survey can be downloaded below:

Download the Report

There are lots of myths around CPA:

  • Myth 1: Only children who have witnessed domestic abuse or violence in the home will go on to abuse a parent or carer.

    False – at least 55% of our families have no previous experience of abuse.

  • Myth 2: Only a certain type of family is impacted.

    False – it doesn’t matter what your situation or profession is, CPA can happen to anyone.

  • Myth 3: It’s caused by bad parenting.

    False – the majority of parents with multiple children only experience CPA from one, discrediting the theory that it's their parenting to blame.

  • Myth 4: CPA only happens where a child has an additional need or mental health condiiton.

    False - There are numerous factors which can increase the likelihood of CPA, but it's untrue to say only children with  additional needs or mental ill health will display abusive behaviours.

  • Myth 5: There is a simple solution

    False - There's sadly rarely a simple solution, which is why we work with a network of partners to help provide tailored support for parents.

If you’re experiencing CPA, please submit a self-referral. If you're already working with a professional, you can ask them to submit a referral on your behalf.

Dealing with an incident:

  • Always call the police if anyone is in danger
  • It’s fine to go to another room if things get too much
  • If you’re able to get outside, even a five-minute walk can give you some breathing space and help calm your emotions.
  • Use any coping strategies which you know work for you, or test out new ones if nothing has worked in the past.
  • It’s okay to address behaviour when things are more settled, rather than at the time.


After an incident:

  • Use calm time in between incidents to recover and think about coping or de-escalation strategies you'll use next time.
  • Focus on any positive behaviour, no matter how small.
  • If you are separated from the other parent and they are involved, ask for support from them (if this does not place you at any risk).
  • Reach out to friends and family (not in sight or ear shot of your child).
  • Create a safety plan for yourself, and log behaviours in a journal.
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