Reflections on three years of PEGS, from our founder Michelle John:

Today I have sat and reflected on PEGS turning 3 and I wanted to share these thoughts and reflections with you.

When I started PEGS, I honestly had no idea what was about to happen, I knew there were parents and caregivers who needed to be heard, supported and empowered but even I underestimated the number of those who were experiencing abusive behaviours from their child, who needed someone to believe them and believe in them.

One thing I was determined about was that those we supported would always be at the centre of what we did and how we did it. I didn’t want PEGS to be a service where we decided what these parents and caregivers needed, I wanted to create a service that they said they wanted and needed.

Three years on, we still ask for their thoughts, views and inputs, including reaching professionals – more about this later. We are incredibly privileged to do the work we do and we continually thank those who work with us for trusting us and allowing us to be part of their journey – these are the true warriors, the change makers, we just help to amplify their voices.

We are often asked about why we don’t work with the child or the whole family, that's not the direction I chose to take - but we completely believe that those who are behaving this way need support too. That’s why we work so closely with services who do that equally incredible and important work.

Parents and caregivers tell us they like PEGS being focused on them, their needs, their safety, their voice, there are so many services that focus on supporting children and young people but how many services do you know that are solely focused on you as a parent or

caregiver?

I also didn’t want to charge people to use our service, it doesn’t sit well with me charging anyone who is experiencing abuse, some of those we support are being financially abused or CPA has had an impact on their income in some way. For me, I feel charging for support creates more barriers and frankly there are enough of those as it is. PEGS will always remain free to those who are using our services.

This journey has had many highs, many learnings, and many many opportunities for growth. We’ve expanded the team, opened another office and have had provided support through various ways to over 3,000 parents or caregivers. We’ve helped to influence legislation changes, local, regional and national policies, frameworks and protocols. We created a risk assessment model as the models for domestic abuse do not fit if you are being abused by your child; that assessment has been rolled out across whole regions, police

forces and others who work with those experiencing CPA.

We’ve created a Government backed employer covenant - the 4th in the UK. We have become trusted partners of NHS Safeguarding for

England. We created a national awareness day - October 14th. We’ve created training and delivered to over 1,500 professionals. We gathered some of the largest sets of data around CPA through our annual surveys.

We’ve had funders believe in us, and give grants so we can continue and expand our work. We have made links with local, regional and national media and have been able to raise awareness both nationally and internationally. We have been nominated for and won numerous awards . We have held online conferences and in person events. We have worked with and continue to work with some of

the leading academics in this field. We have formed partnerships and at every opportunity we continue to highlight CPA and what the reality is like for so many, and sadly for some this has seen parents and caregivers being killed by their child.

Those death could have been avoided , they were asking for help - sometimes for years, they were speaking out but their voice

was silenced simply because they were a parent.

In a ideal world, PEGS wouldn’t exist, there would be no need for us, but this is not a ideal world and as long as those parents and caregivers need us, as long as the same lessons keep being learned (and truly learned), we will be here.

To every single one of you reading this who is currently experiencing, or has in the past experienced, abuse from your child, just know you are incredible, you are worthy, you are deserving, you do matter, and PEGS has got you.

All our love 💜