Those are the three most common emotions reported by parents experiencing a little-known form of domestic abuse as part of a survey released this month (November).

And it’s little wonder, as two thirds feel they weren’t supported well by the professionals they approached for support.

Some of the findings were exclusively revealed by Channel 5 News on Monday 8th November, and now we are releasing the full survey.

More than 220 parents, carers and guardians responded to questions revealing the physical, financial, emotional and even sexual abuse they were experiencing; some of the impacts of the abuse; where they’d sought professional support; and the age of the child displaying the behaviours.

The results showed:

·       80% of parents were being hit, kicked or strangled by their child

·       17% had experienced sexualised behaviour from their child

·       Of those being verbally abused, this happens on a daily basis for 70% of parents

·       29% of children were also targeting pets or animals, and the majority of those with siblings were targeting them too – mainly through verbal abuse, hitting/kicking, threatening and intimidation

·       95% said they felt helpless, 90% felt frustrated, and 84% isolated

·       Well over half had called the police at least once due to their child’s behaviour, and a third of those had called at least five times.

·       A quarter of children were aged five or below when the behaviours began, and almost one in ten began displaying abusive or violent behaviours before their teenage years (12 or under).

·       22% of working parents had to leave their job altogether, and an additional 48% had reduced their hours as a direct result of CPA.

·       Almost nine in ten parents only have one child who displays abusive behaviours.

Our Founding Director Michelle John said: “Child to Parent Abuse has been largely under-funded and under-researched over the years. Thankfully we are starting to uncover the extent to the issue through the researchers, professionals and campaigners dedicated to highlighting CPA; and we need to continue to do all we can to ensure that the issue is recognised and understood at a regional, national and international level.

“By releasing the data from this survey, we hope to support the furthering of knowledge which is so desperately needed to ensure that the prevalence and impact of CPA becomes more widely known.

“Reading the responses of the parents is hugely impactful – and while the trends and themes shown by the data is useful, we mustn’t forget that behind these statistics are heartbroken parents doing all they can to keep themselves and their families safe, still loving their child but desperately wishing that they weren’t dealing with these abusive and violent behaviours.”